


Modern Alchemy

by Tamuril



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:46:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25617571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tamuril/pseuds/Tamuril
Summary: The relationship between JJ and Reid change after his time in prison.  Her increased presence in his life starts to affect her marriage.
Relationships: Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Spencer Reid, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/William LaMontagne Jr.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 35





	Modern Alchemy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While Reid is in prison, JJ is struggling with what's going on. She finds a book of his to read, but mostly to feel most connected to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not quite sure the direction I'm going to go, but I do want Spence to have a happy ending. It just is going to be a bit of a sad start. Please bear in mind that I just wrapped up S-12 and haven't seen the remaining seasons, just clips. So I do have a vague idea. Let me know what you think, if I should continue with it. Also, if you have the chance to read The Decameron, it really is quite good and some of the stories quite entertaining. Thanks for reading and have a great one!

She was surprised he had the book.

Maybe surprised was the wrong word, because he was such a voracious reader. It was the fact that he had the book in English, rather than Italian. Well, the author clearly was of that nationality, so it would be right to assume as much. But he drank in words and knowledge like water in the desert; she used to wonder whether he actually savored the words and images that the author evoked. When she did eventually ask him, he smiled enigmatically at her and told her to guess. Sometimes frustrating, innocently charming, and always informative, though his timing....it could be better, he was just always quintessentially himself. The only well deeper than his knowledge was his love of his family and friends, so much so that he'd risk his very life to ensure their safety. What she undoubtedly knew was that she was inordinately blessed in having him as her best friend and the godfather to both of her sons.

But that book now was something that made her feel less lost, knowing his hands had touched it, leaving something of himself with it as the work, no doubt, would leave upon him. She wasn't sure why it was that particular book that called to her, all she knew was that it had. Diana had given permission for her to borrow it, with the promise that she would not dog-ear the pages. It was difficult to visit his mother, because she expected him to be there and JJ would see a flicker of sadness flash through her eyes, when he clearly wasn't. Diana would be as gracious as she could, though her eyes would occasionally drift to the door or cast furtive glances if they were out, in the vain hope that she would see him. That was the most heart-breaking thing in the world. She didn't want to imagine what it would be like to be in the same position with her own children. 

But the fact that it was her Spence, who deserved love, happiness, and a family of his own pained her heart. Indeed, the space he occupied was a piece that felt the sorrow most keenly, that could not be parsed from anything else. Sometimes, JJ would swear, that she knew when something bad happened to him just because of that, though he would probably state that such things were impossible. It had begun with Hankel, which pained her still, even after all these years, but the guilt would arise, like a rogue wave to upset her. The thought of being too late, but then the relief she had, when she felt his arms around her and the pieces of her heart coming back together. He was solid, real, and so much stronger than he probably should've been in that moment. Or, maybe she was weaker and more powerless than she wanted herself to be. 

JJ knew that Will was upset with how this whole situation was affecting their relationship. Even if she was physically present, her mind was miles away, never straying too far from her Spence. There was a thread that linked them to each other, something that no force could destroy, that wove itself into such a beautiful tapestry of perfect friendship. Will had been suspicious of their relationship and she knew that, at times, he had moments of jealousy, especially when they first got together. Over time, as he got to know Spence, those moments became fewer. That was until JJ had told him that he was in prison, which was something that completely blind-sided him. The man was a lot of things, but a cold-blooded killer? No, never. When he saw how distraught she was, he could feel jealousy bubbling to the surface once again. To her credit, she tried hard to not voice those thoughts too often, but she knew that he knew that she was haunted by her best friend. 

For a long while sitting on the living room couch, wine glass in her hand, staring at the ornate writing on that cover: The Decameron. It seemed so anachronistic to have that book, or anything similar, for that matter, amidst all the non-fiction tomes that littered his bookshelves and pretty much any flat surface in that apartment. But she knew that a good portion of the fiction he possessed, which were often presents, were a connection to those that he cared the most about. And she couldn't help but wonder where this particular work came from and how long he had it. JJ knew that it would amuse him to know that she was attempting to read this. It was one of the few things that made her laugh in spite of the current gloom, just thinking of his expression of skepticism and childish excitement. She missed him so much and it took a moment to collect herself, to dam the tears that threatened to fall, before she could even open the book.

She randomly opened to a random chapter, which as it turned out was a love story, one that she hoped would have a happy ending. As it turned out, it tragically mirrored too closely what had happened between Spence and Maeve. JJ may not have known her, but she knew Spence: his love and devotion were absolute. She had seen many crime scenes, in person and through photos, but there had never been anything worse than the look on his face when Maeve had been taken from him. He hardly spoke about her afterwards and even if he was asked, there'd be flash of grief, then a changing of the subject. JJ stared at the remnants of wine in her glass and fought the urge to just throw the book across the room. At any point, she could've stopped and saved the rest for later, but it was hope that made her continue to the bitter end; a belief that the hero would rescue his beloved at the last moment, something that should've happened in reality. And it was then that she felt the furthest from him, despite her efforts to be strong and optimistic.

So lost was she in her miserable thoughts that she didn't see Will sit down next her. Wordlessly, he took the book and wineglass from her, setting it down on the table. JJ curled against him, her tears staining his shirt, while his arms pulled her even closer. It always pained him to see her like this and it made him feel worse that there was little that he could do. Then she spoke so softly, half to herself, "Spence doesn't deserve this, Will. With all he's been through...he deserves to be happy."

And as he rocked her to sleep, the only words that he could say were, "I know, cher. I know."


End file.
